BON! TRES BON!
 
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I come from Gay Paree,
As you can quickly see,
To learn ze English games, thought I,
And so at golf I made ze try,
I go and buy ze bunch of clubs,
Ze man zey call ze Pro',
Say 'Hold ze stick in both ze hands,
And hit ze ball like so.'
Bon, tres bon!
I zen go to ze links,
I place ze ball upon ze tee,
Zey call it that me thinks.
I take my stock,
I flick him quick,
I look zen for ze ball,
I turn around,
He's on ze ground,
I hit him - Not at all!!

And so to win ze fame
I try ze boxing game.
Quite soon I met a fighting man,
He say to me he like my plan.
He take me to ze hall and zen
Ze gloves to me he bring,
Ze fighter shake me by ze hand,
As I step in ze ring
Bon, tres bon!
His face I try to punch,
He duck his head and hit me
In ze place where is my lunch.
Ze game is mine,
Someone shout 'Time!'
Ze clock is on ze wall,
I look to see,
He biff at me,
I hit him - Not at all!!

Next day I do roam
Into ze aerodrome,
Zey say it sport up in ze air,
I ask ze man to take me zere.
He say much pleasure you will have.
I starting right away,
And when we fly in ze sky,
I could not help to say:-
Bon, tres bon!
Ze pilot look at me
And say 'I now ze nose-dive take.'
I smile and say 'Oui, oui.'
We zen go high,
Up in ze sky,
But oh! so quick we fall,
I'm in ze soup,
He loop de loop,
I like it - Not at all!!

Next day I have ze wish
To go and catch ze fish,
I understand it real good sport,
I proud to show ze fish I caught,
And so I go ze tackle buy
At big shop in ze town,
With basket and ze tin of worms,
To pier I wander down.
Bon, tres bon!
We go upon ze boat.
I have lunch with ze boatman zere,
And zen I watch ze float.
Ze sea so rough,
It is hot stuff
Ze boat go up zen fall,
I feel so bad,
Ze lunch I had
I have it - Not at all!!
 
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Written and composed by Fred Gibson - 1925
Performed by George Ellis
 
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