Somewhere down the Midland Counties, you must know
A charming little creature was seated by my side
Who asked if I would lend to her my Bradshaw's Guide
This lady she was troubled with absence of mind
The ticket for her journey she had left it far behind
She could not recollect the town to which she wished to ride
So begged that I would lend her my Bradshaw's Guide.
| Spoken - She could only remember that the name of the station contained the letter R.M.or W. So I began to run through the towns whose name contain that letter, such as... |
Chorus: Birmingham, Sandringham, Ulverton and Wolverton
Dorchester and Porchester, Rochester and Ryde
Arlington and Darlington, Torrington and Warrington
She said she'd sure to find it in my Bradshaw's Guide.
Then I produced my Bradshaw, and said to her, 'Fair Miss,
Perhaps the place you're wanting you may find out in this.'
She took the volume from my hand and eagerly she tried
To find the town she wanted in my Bradshaw's Guide
She searched o'er every leaf, and turned o'er every page
Until at last the lady, she got in quite a rage
She soon turned round to me, and bitterly she cried,
'Dear Sir, I cannot find it in your Bradshaw's Guide.'
(Although she said she had read all through....)
Chorus:
I reached my destination, and was going to alight
When she placed her hand upon my arm, and said with much afright
'Oh Dear Sir, don't leave me, all alone to ride
What shall I do without you and the Bradshaw's Guide.'
Said I, 'Then come along with me down to my hotel,
Perhaps the place you're wanting you may happen there to tell.'
So she linked her arm in mine and I escorted her with pride
Said I, 'I'll be your friend, Miss, and your Bradshaw's Guide.'
(and I said that we would soon discover whether it is.....)
Chorus:
I hired a conveyance and quickly off we rode
I took her to my quarters, where she took up her abode
And all the live long day, then both of us, we tried
To find the town she wanted in my Bradshaw's Guide
And while we both were searching, I squeezed her little glove
And suddenly discovered that I was deeply in love
I proposed and was accepted, and now she is my bride
And together we amuse ourselves with Bradshaw's Guide
(of course, you know, she doesn't care anything now, about...)
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