HERE COMES THE BROKER'S MAN
 
Charles Coborn
 

Come all my darling little ones, there's misery in store,
Go quick and close the shutters and bolt and bar the door;
We owe three quarters rent and they are coming with a van,
The Landlord's got the needle and he's sent the Broker's Man.

Chorus: Hush! Hush! Hush! here comes the Broker's man,
He wants the chairs and tables and he'll take them if he can;
Hush! Hush! Hush! we'll try the good old plan,
When midnight comes, we'll shoot the moon and dodge the Broker's man.

Why should he seize our little house and carry it away?
Like Britons we'll defend it though we perish in the fray,
And when he hammers on the door we'll stop his rat-tat-tan,
We'll drop the coal-box on his head and squash the Broker's Man.

Go fetch the big retriever in place hime near the door,
His teeth are sharp, he's had no food for fourteen weeks or more.
And if the Borker's man's disposed to sieze our 'sticks', he can,
And in return, our faithful dog, will sieze the Broker's Man.

(Knock, knock)
Hark! he is knocking at the door and will not go away,
We'll try the Tipperary game that Irish tenants play;
(Gun fires off)
He won't upset us any more, they've put him in the van,
They'll hold an inquest bye-and-bye, upon the Broker's man.

Chorus: Hush! Hush! Hush! I've killed the Broker's man.
He'd have had the chairs and tables and a foolish risk he ran;
Hush! Hush! Hush! I've tried the Irish plan,
His funeral's tomorrow, when they plant the Broker's man.

 
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Written and composed by George Dance & Dave Braham
Performed by Charles Coborn (1852-1945)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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