BROWN, BROWN SIT DOWN
 
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Little Ebenezer Brown got married yesterday,
An' I was proud to be the chap that went an' gave the bride away.
At 'is 'ouse we then sat up till very, very late
Till Ebenezer worked 'imself into a funny state.
'E was sittin' fidgetin', kept lookin' at the clock.
Then 'e slyly started winkin' at the bride.
But when 'e jumped up on 'is feet an' said: 'You'd better go,'
I dug him in the waistcoat an' I cried:

Chorus: 'Brown, Brown, Brown,
Oh why don't you sit down?
B-R-O-W-N.
You're not a bit like other little men.
Brown, Brown, Brown,
Don't make yourself a clown.
You can 'ave your 'oneymoon tomorrow mornin'.
Brown, Brown, sit down.'

Ebenezer 'e's a chap that likes to cut a shine;
'E'd go without 'is dinner for to buy a glass o' wine.
At a swell affair, a ball, 'e went the other night
Dressed up in a pair o' trousers fittin' very tight.
'E went an' stood to make a bow, the trousers wouldn't stretch;
They made a noise like tearin' calico.
The fellow shouted right behindÑit wasn't it was wrongÑ
The ladies 'ad a look and shouted out:

Chorus: 'Brown, Brown, Brown,
Oh why don't you sit down?
B-R-O-W-N.
You're not a bit like other little men.
Brown, Brown, Brown,
Don't make yourself a clown.
Cover up the ventilator in your trousers.
Brown, Brown, sit down.'

 
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Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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