THE CALICO PRINTER'S CLERK
 
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In Manchester that city, of cotton, twist and twills
Lived the subject of my ditty, and the cause of all my ills
She was handsome, young and twenty, her eyes are azure blue
Admirers she had plenty and her name was Dorothy Drew.

Chorus: She was very fond of dancing,
But allow me to remark,
That one fine day she danced away
With a calico printer's clerk.

At a private ball I met her in eighteen sixty-three
I never can forget her, though she was unkind to me
I was dressed in the pink of fashion, my lavender gloves were new
I danced the Valse Circassian with the charming Dorothy Drew.

Chorus:

We Schottisched and we Polka'd to the strains the band did play
We valsed and we Mazurka'd, til she valsed my heart away
I whispered in this manner as around the room we flew
Doing Varsovianna, "How I love you, Dorothy Drew."

Chorus:

For months and months attention unto her I did pay,
'Til with her condescension, she led me quite astray;
The money I expended, I'm ashamed to tell to you
I'll inform you how it ended with myself and Dorothy Drew.

Chorus:

I received an intimation she a visit meant to pay
Unto a near relation, who lived some miles away
In a month she'd be returning, I must take a short adieu
But her love for me was burning, deceitful Dorothy Drew!

Chorus:

At nine o'clock next morning, to breakfast I sat down
The smile my face adorning was soon changed to a frown
For in the morning paper, a paragraph met my view
That Jones, a calico printer's clerk, had married Miss Dorothy Drew.

Chorus:

Repeat first verse.
 
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Written, composed and performed by Harry Clifton (1832-1872)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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