CAN'T YOU SEE I'M THINKING
 
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Now I'm a chap who thinks a lot, as many folks have found,
Especially once when Jenkins tried to borrow fifteen pound.
'I'll pay you back next week.' sid he, in manner quite abrupt;
I said, 'I don't say you would not but please don't interupt!'

Chorus: 'Can't you see I'm thinking? I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
I'm thinking how extremely sad it is, to want those quids so bad,
You'll pay me back next week, of course, that's understood,
I'm thinking what a mug you are to think I think you would.'

I used to know a lovely girl; she was indeed all right!
I used to take her out for walks, and see her home at night.
One night she murmured, 'William,' as I chewed her shell-like ear,
'When are you going to marry me?' I said, '0ne moment,dear!'

Chorus: 'Can't you see I'm thinking? I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
I'm thinking matrimonial bliss could not half be so nice as this.
We've had some lovely times, I think you will allow,
I'm thinking what my wife would say if she could see me

I took my missis once into a Picture Gallery.
A painting, labelled, 'Venus' very soon attracted me.
My old girl saw me gazing, and she said, 'Don't linger here.'
I looked at 'Venus' then at her, and said, 'Excuse me, dear!

Chorus: 'Can't you see I'm thinking? I'm thinking,I'm thinking.
I'm thinking how a certain book says that's how women ought to look.
If it be really true, such women lived on earth,
I'm thinking that your husband didn't get his money's worth.

The morning I got married I was barely half awake,
And that's how I put on my oldest trousers by mistake.
I hadn't time to change them but rushed off to meet the bride.
The parson asked me something, don't know what but I replied:

Chorus: 'Can't you see I'm thinking? I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
I'm thinking of my trousers, sir; two buttons I feel sure there were;
But one of them came off, through running, I suppose;
I'm thinking what will happen if the other button goes.'

 
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Written and composed by Fred W. Leigh & Henry E. Pether - 1906
Performed by Will Bentley (b. 1873)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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