There hain't the slightest doubt but what you've heard of me before
I'm Captain Puff, Puff, Puff, Captain Puff
I am weltering in lucre and I've gold mines by the score
I'm just abpout the biggest toff you've had on England's shore
In all the best society I go, they see as I'm a swell
For class'll always tell, I'm what you call 'Recherche' don't you know
And I'm simply irrestistable, the ladies can't say 'No'.

Chorus: So! Hi! girls! out of the way when you see me coming by
Or your hearts'll stop and go flipperty flop
When I roll my wicked heye
Regular mesmerizer, certain to paralyze yer
So Hi! Hi! Hi! I'm Captain Puffity Puff.

If yer want to see the finest form and figure at a glance
It's Captain Puff, Puff, Puff, Captain Puff
I can tell you the little spicey stories as they come from France
But whisper sotto vocey, 'Onny swore key mally parnse'
When fust I was presented to the Queen
I made the bounders wince, knocked corners hoff the Prince
My dress - walk- style - was marvels to be seen
And the papers said my di'monds was a transformation scene.


No doubt you think you're tricky, but I back you've never scored
Like Captain Puff, Puff, Puff, Puff, Captain Puff
I am up to ev'ry artful dodge upon the board
Although they've warned me off the course in Hengland and abroad
At billiards - well- there -p'r'aps yer won't believe
Jack Roberts 'ad a fit, I guess he knows a bit
At cards - well, I for aces never grieve
If haven't got 'em in my hand - I've got 'em up my sleeve.

Written and composed by Alfred J. Morris & George Le Brunn - 1895
Performed by G.W. Anson (1848-1920)
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