A poor old bach'lor friend of mine
Who led a lonely life,
Was always pestered by his friends
To get himself a wife.
He was a most obliging man,
To please his friends he tried;
He married then; a nagging wife—
To get some peace he died.

Chorus: He thought a change, a change would do him good,
Did not delay, he died while in the mood.
Left no address, of course that's understood,
He's all right, can't come back, he would not if he could!

Sometimes, when deep in love, a girl
Will get into a fix;
The inf'rence is, she loves too deep,
Or maybe five or six.
I'm told a flirt is often true
To one of us poor men,
"There's no one like her George" until,
The next man comes, and then,

Chorus: She thinks a change—a change will do her good,
Does not delay, she flirts while in the mood,
Swears she is true, of course that's understood,
Tummy yum, yummy yum, lots of "Yum" is good!

A well known Judge upon the Bench
Receives, at ten each morn,
The usual ragged, wretched lot,
Unkempt, unwashed, unshorn.
He gives advice, prescribes a change,
And "time" as well he'll find!
Suppose I show you what he does,
Of course it's most refined.

Spoken: (as magistrate). " Now, prisoner, why did you steal that lady's purse 'I

Chorus: You thought the change, the change would do you good?
Did not delay, and pinched it while you could?
Five years this time, to make it understood,
Twenty strokes with the cat, now p'raps you'll be good! "

Of late years we have had to deal
With foreign nations, who,
Because we stand their cheek, now think
We're frightened of them too!
A well bred bull-dog never fights
With puppies or with ours,
And that's the sort of dog we are,
But one day, unawares,

Chorus: They'll get a change, a change will do them good,
And wet can fight, when we are in the mood,
Let loose the dog! and once he's tasted blood!
Good old dog! good old pluck! British pluck is good!

Written, composed and performed by R.A. Roberts (1866-1932) - 1898
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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