THE CHILI WIDOW
 
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It happened not so long ago, one night both bleak and chilly
There strode a country bumpkin through the wilds of Piccadilly
And as he strode with rustic stride, a lady fair came to his side
In melting tones she pressed her needs
So sad and sweet in her widow's weeds
She heaved a sigh, oh dear! Heighho
Then piped her eye and shivered so -

Chorus: She was the Chili Widow, the widow that couldn't get warm
Seeking shelter from the terrible storm
He was ready and willing a kindness to perform
But now that Chili Widow is the widow he'd like to warm.

She pitched him such a doleful tale, about the 'late lamented'
Her grief would turn a beetroot pale, if rightly represented
In doing so he felt a charm, so offered her his brawny arm
A beefsteak supper, and what not,
Then soothed her woes with brandy hot
With eyes so blue, and golden hair
Well, he scarce knew just where he were.

Chorus: She was the Chili Widow, the widow that couldn't get warm
Seeking shelter from the terrible storm
He was ready and willing a kindness to perform
But perhaps the Three Star Brandy had made her sufficiently warm.

Returning home our hero got a welcome far from chilly
When his dear wife discovered what he'd left in Piccadilly
Oh, wasn't there a storm! Great Scott
My word, she gave him chillies hot
And, now he suffers grief and pain
Her tongue won't let him rest again
He cannot sleep, but sighs 'Alas,
When widows weep, 'Keep off the grass'

Chorus: She was the Chili Widow, the widow that couldn't get warm
Seeking shelter from the terrible storm
He was ready and willing a kindness to perform
But if she's where he wished her, well, she ought to be nice and warm.

 
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Written and composed by W. T. Lytton & George Le Brunn - 1896
Performed by Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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