THE CIGAR GIRL
 

A pretty girl with an old man who passed for her papa,
And kept a shop where you could get a very nice cigar;
She served behind the counter all the swells who came that way,
But it they tried to spoon at all, she always used to say,

Chorus: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you do amuse me so,
Ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, and ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
But if you are in earnest you can speak to my papa,
He's in there in his old arm chair, tra, la, la, la, la, la.

A very spooney swell one day, went down upon his knees,
And said, "I love you very much, so have me, if you please;
I'll run away and kill myself if you say you will not,
For I cannot live without you, but the answer that he got,

Chorus: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you do amuse me so,
Ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, and ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
But if you are in earnest you can speak to my papa,
He's in there in his old arm chair, tra, la, la, la, la, la.

He went to see her father in the room behind the shop,
But when her father heard the tale he frowned and shouted, "Stop!
I never was so much surprised before, in all my life,
That girl is not my daughter, sir, why, hang it, she's my wife."

Chorus: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you do amuse me so,
Ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, and ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
You thought she was my daughter sir, what a funny man you are,
We were married you know, some years ago, tra, la, la, la, la, la.

Now when this tender-hearted swell found out how he'd been had,
His knees began to tremble, and he felt so very bad;
He didn't stop to say good-bye but quickly ran away,
And as he bolted through the shop he heard his charmer say,

Chorus: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you do amuse me so,
Ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, and ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
I hope you are contented now you've spoken to papa,
You can't have me, for I'm married, you see, tra, la, la, la, la, la.

 
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Written and composed by Stanley Sands & Vincent Davies
Performed by 'Jolly' John Nash (1830 - 1901)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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