CLAP HANDS, DADDY'S COME HOME
 
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I go to work every day, I do,
Work like a navvy for two pounds two;
When I arrived home last Saturday,
The missis and the kids all shouted, "Hooray!"

Chorus: "Clap hands, Daddy's come home."
Daddy has brought us his wages home."
But all I brought in was a bottle of gin,
And a blackeye that somebody gave me.

I left my missis at home one day,
Went off to church by myself, all gay;
I went to christen our youngest child,
And when I got back my wife said, as she smiled,

Chorus: "Clap hands, Daddy's come home."
Daddy has christened it on his own."
Then she nearly choked and cried, "Sam, you've revoked,
It's a girl and you've christened it Charley."

I sat on a hay-fork once, like a clown,
Got up a bit quicker than I sat down;
I ran straight home to the wife and cried,
"Go fetch me some ointment but she just replied,

Chorus: "Clap hands, Daddy's come home."
I said, "Fetch the ointment." and gave a groan,
"Be patient," said she, "like poor Job had to be."
I said, "Job never sat on a hay-fork."

My trousers I split at the ball and so,
I took them off for the wife to sew;
Someone popped in and my wife, the jay,
Pushed me through a door, then I heard someone say,

Chorus: "Clap hands, Daddy's come home."
In my short shirt I did rave and foam,
I shouted out, "Jane, do let me in again,
You've pushed me back into the ballroom."

I've got a donkey, he's fond of me,
He's very knowing as you will see;
He waits for me when I go home each day,
Looks up in my face just as much to say,

Chorus: "Clap hands, Daddy's come home."
That donkey's a marvel I will own;
When he's pleased to see me, he cocks up his head,
He cocked up his tail this morning.

 
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Written by Worton David / Harry Leighton - 1907
Composed and Performed by Sam Mayo (1875 - 1938)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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