THE CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR'S LAMENT
 
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Perhaps you wonder who I am, I will explain to you
My conscience is the only thing that helps to pull me through
Objection is a thing that I have studied thoroughly
I don't object to fighting huns but hate them fighting me
Non combatant battalions are fairly in my line
The Sergeant seemed to hate me for he calls me 'baby mine'
But I got so cross with him and rose to the attack
But when he called me 'Ethel' I called him 'Beatrice' back.

Chorus: Call out the army and the navy
Call out the rank and file
Call out the territorials
They'll face danger with a smile
Where are the boys of the old brigade
Who made old England free?
Call out my mother, my sister and my brother
But for God's sake don't call me.


We have a nasty officer, he is a horrid brute
For he got oh so terse with me 'cause I did not salute
I cut him twice today and then he asked the reason, see
I said, 'I thought my Captain dear, you were still cross with me.'
I was doing a fatigue the other day at half past two
A pal of mine got jealous of the job I had to do
When he asked me how I got it well, I said, 'You must be dense,
I'm friendly with the second Lieut. it's merely influence.'

Chorus: Call out the army and the navy
Call out the rank and file
Call out the territorials
They'll face danger with a smile
Where are the boys of the old brigade
Who made old England free?
Call out my uncle and clean out every funk hole
But for God's sake don't call me.
 
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Written by Davy Burnaby & Gitz Rice - 1917
Performed by Alfred Lester 1872-1925)
 
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