COSMOPOLITAN COURTSHIP
 
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Now ladies, in strict confidence,
I don't mind telling you,
I think you're charming when you're old
But horrid when you're new.
Thank goodness when a lover says,
'My darling, name the day.'
A girl will sometimes answer
In the good old-fashioned way.

Chorus: First she'll frown and angrily scowl,
She'll lead him in a terribly tiring dance,
Then, she'll suddenly smile,
Making amends with a glance, one glance;
He'll try to snatch a kiss from her lips,
She says she will certainly tell Mama;
He shudders, she cries, he whispers, she sighs,
'Don't waste a moment dear, ask Papa.'

The lovely maids of Erin's Isle,
Speak volumes with their eyes,
Let not those glances move you, but
Avoid them and be wise.
There's something in the very brogue
That no-one can resist,
The blarney of the colleen's tongue,
I'll add now to my list.

Chorus: Whist! Bedad! Acushla Machree
Is it meself that ye love alone?
Hurroo! Erin go bragh!
Kathleen Mavourneen, Och hone! Och hone!
Conn the Shaughraun! Arrah na pogue,
Mistress Maloney's me maiden name,
I know ye me bhoy! Ye may call it love,
But blarney's the word for it all the same!

The french girl, well, she's just the same,
This is the way she'll start,
She'll smile a most bewitching smile
That steals away your heart.
To tell her that you love her, she
Of course is timid, shy.
She droops her pretty head and thus;
In french she will reply.

Chorus: Ah! c'est bien mais que voulez-vous?
Moi je suis francaise et toujours gaie
Dis, moi que'st ce que c'est que ca
Dis, moi donc s'il te plait, te plait
Paris, Versailles, Bois de Boulogne
Calais, Douvres, par le chemin-de-fer
Ne dites rien? Moi je ne sais pas
Ah! que te es belle ma chere ma chere!

The german maid is sweet and fair
There's danger in her glance,
Her eyes are soft but in their depth
You see lov'e mischief dance.
You try to learn the language of
Her own dear fatherland,
You plead your course but her reply
Is hard to understand!

Chorus: Sprechen sie Deutch mine own Vaterland
Ja! nein! de german he knows no fear,
Sauer Kraut! Under der Linden
Pilsener! Bismark ind lager bier,
Das ist so, und fraulein mein herr
Challuk it up mit mein sellufs alone,
Wagner I love, Tanhausser ist goot
I blay him at night on der shlide trombone!

The Scots may boast of beauty rare
Lassies with eyes of blue,
Who'd almost make you swear that they
Never could be untrue!
To conquer hearts this lassie has
Her own peculiar way,
You say madly, fondly love her
This is what she'll say.

Chorus: Oh! Ma conscience! Scots wa hae,
Bobby Burns! Whuskey and auld lang syne,
Ah! weel! How are ye the nicht,
Thank ye for specrin', I'm doin' fine,
Muckle, Purrage, unco' guid,
I'll no spend so much as a wee bawbee,
Duke o' Argyle! No gang awa,
My braw Heiland laddie be true to me!

Just now that China's all the rage
It may not be out of place,
To show how love plays havoc with
This most eccentric race.
The hand of some fair chinese maid
A chinaman would win,
To trifle with his feelings, she
Like this, will then begin.

Chorus: Hi Hi kissy, yummy yum yum
So so Mikado and Titipu
Savoy, Pekin and Ko-Ko
Hi chuckee chuckee tip rum ti foo
Hong Kong Kelung, Yangsee Kiang
Willow plate washee the Mandarin
Nosee boko, Pish! Tush! Pooh! Bah!
Masha! Ta-ta, tral la la chin-chin.

 
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Written and composed by Albert Chevalier & Alfred H. West - 1896
Performed by Albert Chevalier (1861-1923)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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