THE COSTER OTHELLO
 
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Pretty May, she was a donah all of us fellows we were after,
Now we never get a look at her, yer see,
'Cos she's married to a fellow wot's a regular Othello,
He's as jealous, yus, as jealous as can be.
He never lets her out alone, he won't trust her a mile,
If she nods to us he flies into a rage,
Because a gal's worth looking at, to treat her so's a shame,
Why, he might as well just lock her in a cage.
For he won't let her out of his sight, not he!
He follows her about just like a kid;
We dares'nt touch our cady to Joseph's pretty lady
Why, we'd go home on a shutter if we did.

If he takes her to a Drama, on her right he'll sit beside her,
But of all his night's enjoyment he's bereft;
For the play he's quite forgettin' 'cos he's fumin' and he's frettin'
'Bout the cove he sees a sittin' at her left.
And when the gallant hero comes a-rushin' on the scene
For to save his precious sweetheart from the foam,
She sighs, 'Oh! ain't he 'andsome, Joe? he's such a puffick dream.'
Then Joe says, 'That's quite enough, you just come home.'
And he won't let her out of his sight, not he!
He follows her about just like a kid;
Shop-keepers never say, 'Dear, now Madam, walk this way, dear.'
Why, he'd make their blessed ghosts walk if they did.

To a dance one night he took her, it was quite a swell arrangement
For the tickets were a tanner every time;
And then in each dance he took her, so as no one else should book her,
But at last I got my chance - it was sublime.
Then with this lovely lady I went floating round the room,
When up to yer 'umble, Joe he quickly raced;
'I don't mind you waltzing with my missis,' then says he,
'But you mustn't put your arm around her waist.'
And he won't let her out of his sight, not he!
He follows her about just like a kid;
Her cousin never kisses Joe's pretty little missis
Why, he'd get his mouth knocked sideways if he did.

He took her down to Margate for a holiday he called it
But she kept him just as busy as could be,
When she bathed there, in the ocean, Joe, he made a great commotion,
Chucking chaps with opera-glasses in the sea.
If he caught her with the lodger at a Sunday strict Kew tea,
Like Othello, he would quickly 'douse her glim',
And when the doctor called one day and gently felt her pulse,
Why, we had to call a doctor in for him!
For he won't let her out of his sight, not he!
He follows her about just like a kid;
Her figure's to my likin', I should love to teach her bikin',
But I'd want a hearse next journey if I did.

 
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Performed by Paul Mill (1863-1916)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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