COULD LLOYD GEORGE DO IT?
 
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There are lots of clever men but the ordinary hen
Can take them down a peg.
Whilst they're laying down the law, the old chicken in the straw
Sits her down and she lays an egg, that's all.
She lays UP new-laid egg.
But could Lloyd George do it? Could Winston do it?
Could Baldwin do it? Why, no!
Could Ramsay Mac and the other clever men
Do the same as the poor old hen?
The hen lays an egg; nobody has ever
Said that it was wonderful or marvelous or clever,
But could Lloyd George do it? Could Winston do it?
Could Baldwin do it? Why, no!

Now the ordinary cat takes it's meals upon the mat
Without the aid of knives,
And its songs upon the tiles can be heard for thirty miles,
And it also has nine lives, that's all,
With perhaps two thousand wives.
But could Lloyd George do it? Could Winston do it?
Could Baldwin do it? Why, no!
Could Peckham Rye or even Shepherd's Bush
Do the same as the sweet little puss?
The cat leads a life that is nothing else but clover.
With his little tongue he can wash himself all over,
And could Lloyd George do it? Could Winston do it?
Could Baldwin do it? Why, no!

See the flighty little fly dancing round the apple pie,
Or your bacon nice and brown,
When you stuck him with a fork he will fly away and walk
On the ceiling upside down. He walks
On the ceiling upside down,
But could Lloyd George do it? Could Winston do it?
Could Baldwin do it? Why, no!
Could Wellington or Napoleon Bonaparte
Sit for two hours in a raspberry tart?
You swear at the fly and you flare just like a trooper,
But that wouldn't stop him sitting on the fce of Gladys Cooper,
And could Lloyd George do it? Could Winston do it?
Could Baldwin do it? Why, no!

In the wilds of Africa with his tail up hip hoorah
The ostrich roams the dales.
For a fortnight he will stand with his head stuck in the sand,
And he eats horseshoes and nails, that's all,
With perhaps amusing tales
But could Lloyd George do it? Could Winston do it?
Could Baldwin do it? Why, no!
Could Henry Ford out in Oshkosh, Mich.
Eat horseshoes like the poor ostrich?
It's only a bird and it's ugly and it's skinny,
But on its fluffy part it grows a feather worth a guinea.
And could Lloyd George do it? Could Winston do it?
Could Baldwin do it? Why, no!
 
(Submitted by Barrie Mathers - Jan. 2013)
 
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Written and composed by R.P. Weston & B. Lee - 1925
Performed by Stanley Lupino (1894-1942)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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