DAN, THE CATS' MEAT MAN
 
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Down in our locality they call me Dan,
Everybody knows me as the cats' meat man.
Walking about with my basket full of meat,
Ev'ry day you're sure to see me up and down the street.
People say I'm a friend of all the cats,
And they make a fuss of me they do.
And the poor old 'moggies' soon as I pass by,
They wag their tails and all begin to mew.

Chorus: All day long as I'm walking up the street,
You'll hear me shouting 'Me-me-meat.'
When I go out the kids all shout,
'Puss! Puss! Puss! and they follow me about.
And walking round the houses
As I toddle on my poor old feet,
The girls cry, 'Dan, you're a saucy little man,
With your me-me-me-me meat.'

Liza Brown's a girl that's very fond of me,
Once when I was sitting down with her to tea,
She looked at me and said, 'Well, you're a cure!'
When she saw me picking out the winkles with a skewer.
She said, 'Dan, do you love me just a bit?'
I said, 'Love you? why of course! what's more,
Ev'ry time we meet to myself I say,
'You're the finest bit of stuff I ever saw!'

Chorus:

All the cats I serve are always wearing smiles,
Always advertising me upon the tiles.
The tomcats say, when their sweethearts want a treat
'Come along to Dan and try a skewer full of meat.'
Black cats, white cats, and ginger ones as well.
When they're praising up my meat, don't fail,
But the Manx cats never say a word for me,
'Cause they don't know the way to tell the tale.

Chorus:

Little Polly Pickle, living down our way,
Keeps a butcher-shop, she does, and yesterday
She called me in and she showed me all the meat.
Pointed to the joints and said, 'Now, don't they look a treat.'
I cried, 'Ah, those shoulders make a show,
I could never beat 'em if I try.'
But when I said, 'Lumme, ain't the legs all right.'
She smacked a breast of mutton in my eye.

 
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Written and composed by E.A.Shephard and Chas Collins - 1913
Performed by Fred Earle (1877-1915)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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