A friend of mine asked me if I'd come along
And mark the proceedings by singing a song
Some singers earn lots with Baritone voice
So I'd better explain I'm a tenor by choice

Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear
I've discovered that music must be my career
As good tenors are few, well a 'fiver' will do
Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear.

While walking abroad a short time ago
A lady in front of me looked nice you know
Her view from the back was enchanting I found
Then all of a sudden the lady turned round.

Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear
If faces were fortunes this lady I fear
A lecture could give, on how the poor live
Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear.

An old lady once to a cricket match went
She followed the players with eager intent
She listened to everything she was told
But she didn't agree when a maiden was'bowled'

Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear
She said, 'I'm so charmed that you brought me out here
Why that bowler's sublime, hits the bat every time.'
Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear.

In the dining-saloon of a cross channel boat
A fellow sat wrapped in a big overcoat
The seas was so rough, he had not slept all night
His face it was queer, and he'd no appetite.

Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear
He sat at the table although he felt queer
But he soon took a walk, when they brought him some pork
Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear.

Now I'm nearing the end of this ditty sublime
For I seem to have been fooling around quite a time
And my wife will be angry of that there's no doubt
Though I did do the washing before I came out.

Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear
I must hurry away very quickly I fear
To my dear home and hearth, I've the baby to bath
Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear.

Distinct signs of restlessness I can observe
So I'd better conclude while I still have the nerve
For I'm nearing the end of my ditty sublime
Now who was that said, 'It's just about time?'

Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear
Oh! I'd better be off while I'm lucky I fear
And I shall be so sore, if you shout out encore
Dear, Dear, Dear, Dear.
Written and composed by H.M.Burnaby & Harold Arpthorp - 1924
Performed by H.M. Burnaby
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