A DEAR, KIND DOCTOR
 
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Have you ever had a nagging in your heart
If you haven't, well, I hope you never will
I believe that I've been stung by cupid's dart
Tho' for months I've been under Doctor Pill
The first time that he asked to see my throat
He took a little bottle from the shelf
On telling him my age, he said, 'How young'
Then I gently murmured to myself 'Oh.'

Chorus: He's a dear, kind doctor, as clever as can be
He's a dear, kind doctor and awfully fond of me
He can tell it's Trilby when I pull at the surgery bell
But the moment he feels my pulse, I say I feel quite well.


Spoken - I don't know what it is about that man that's different to other fellows, but every time he touches me it seems to thrill me through like 'electrickery'. It makes me feel for all the world like a bit of crimped skate.

First he said 'Undo the buttons of your coat
And then, dear, kindly take a chair'
And then, on gazing down my throat
He said, 'There's nothing much the matter there'
Then he placed a little cornet to his ear
And put the other end upon my chest
I murmured to myself 'Oh what a dear'
Then inwardly and solemnly confessed.

Chorus:

Yesterday, while looking gently in my eyes
He said, 'Excuse me, dear, but gaze above'
And then between two gentle little sighs
'My darling' he exclaimed, 'Why you're in love'
I had a faint idea that he'd got 'oof'
So I didn't wish to cause him any strife
And instead of playing up the game of 'spoof'
I consented there and then to be his wife.

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by Joseph Tabbar - 1995
Performed by George Robey (1869-1954)
 
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