DEAR ME! IS THAT POSSIBLE?
 
Dear Me!
 
I've been away two years today,
Dear me! Is that possible?
All my friends will be sure to say,
Dear me! Is that possible?
All amongst the sharks and whales,
Breaking vessels with their tails,
Daily losing masts and sails,
Dear me! Is that possible?

Chorus: I'm very, very well and I'm glad to tell,
That I'm always gay and hearty,
I'm very, very well and I'm glad to tell,
I belong to a healthy party!

My captain, once, was offended quite,
Dear me! Is that possible?
He sentenced me to death one night,
Dear me! Is that possible?
Five or six men took hold of me,
Throwing me bodily in the sea,
I swam from America to Dundee,
Dear me! Is that possible?

Chorus:

I once went hunting with other men,
Dear me! Is that possible?
I got lost in a lion's den,
Dear me! Is that possible?
Eight freat lions sprang on me,
Luckily, I got out free,
I murdered five and wounded three,
Dear me! Is that possible?

Chorus:

I often speak to the man in the moon,
Dear me! Is that possible?
Once I saw him in the afternoon,
Dear me! Is that possible?
There we had no end of fun,
Though of daughters we had none,
He introduced me to the sun,
Dear me! Is that possible?

Chorus:

The 'Niagara Falls' I once went down,
Dear me! Is that possible?
I said to a man, 'I'll bet half a crown,
Dear me! Is that possible?
If I don't do it I'll cut my throat,
So I went down in a very small boat,
And all I did was to splash my coat,
Dear me! Is that possible?

Chorus:

A house, one day, I saw in flames,
Dear me! Is that possible?
No engineer came so I rushed in the door!
Dear me! Is that possible?
I got on the roof and I couldn't get higher,
You may, perhaps, think I'm a liar,
I spat down the chimney and put out the fir,
Dear me! Is that possible?

Chorus:

Once, in a balloon, I went very high,
Dear me! Is that possible?
At last, I went right through the sky,
Dear me! Is that possible?
The ropes gave way, I fell to the ground,
No end of people gathered round,
Surprised to see me safe and sound,
Dear me! Is that possible?

Chorus:

There's a bridge that crosses the River Tyne,
Dear me! Is that possible?
I once saw an accident occurring on the line,
Dear me! Is that possible?
Two engines meeting, might and main,
I'd saved lives before so I did so again,
I put up my arms and stoped the train!
Dear me! Is that possible?

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by Joseph Tabrar - 1870
Performed by George Leybourne (1842-1884)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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