DO, RA, MI, FA
or 'The Music Master'
 
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I'm a teacher of music and singing as well,
And five bob a lesson I charge;
My connection is not among folk very fine,
I regret, too, it's not very large;
I was teaching a greengrocer's daughter last year,
He's an ignorant donkey, but she
Is a beautiful girl whom I fondly adore,
And she was very partial to me.

Spoken - When shall I forget the happy hours we passed together singing...

Chorus: Do,Ra, Mi, Fa, that's how we practised before her papa,
Sol, La, Si, Do, kissing and cuddling whene'er he would go;
Do, Si, La,Sol, I knew if he caught me he'd give me the sack,
But we always uncuddled before he came back. Fa, Mi, Ra, Do,

One day,while enjoying a hundred bars rest,
My arm round the darling one's waist;
The old man came in, unexpectedly, quite!
Of course we jumped up in great haste.
Rushed to the piano, commencing to sing,
The old chap exclaimed, "Well, I'm blest!
"Aint ye working?" "But sir," I replied, "You'll observe
In the music here fifty bars rest''

Spoken - He said, "What?" I said, "There, don't you see sir, fifty bars rest." He said, "Rest be blowed! I pay you for working not for resting! So at it we went again...

Chorus:

Another time, deep in our love making game,
And doing our billing and coos;
Her father came back and to use his own words,
He'd been having a glorious booze:
He cried, "Hullo Cully! stop that, dye hear? ;
"You can 'ook it, Mister what's yer name,
"Your do, ra, mi, fa, has gone quite far enough,
"l can see through your sly little game."

Spoken - Well you know,I got so confused, I mixed up all the musical terms in a ridiculous manner. I said, "No Miss, you'll excuse me, that note's a quaver! Oh,I beg pardon! no, it's a demi semi quaver!" He said, (Imitating drunken man.) Demme, I'll make some on ye quaver directly! 'Ere, outside my domino thumper! and outside I went from off the top of his number eighteen boot. (I remember the size exactly, I noticed it at the time.) And since then I've never had the opportunity of singing with that charming girl.

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Arthur Lloyd
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840 - 1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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