DO YOU KNOW ANY MORE FUNNY STORIES?
 
div
 
Percy is a friend of mine and Percy's quite a mash
All the grils are after Percy, Percy's got some cash
When I first met Percy, well, I thought him quite a jay
I forgot to tell you his name's Percy, by the way
It was at an hotel in the provinces, you see
There were six or seven in the smoking room with me
Percy told a funny tale, but no one saw the fun
When he'd finished telling that, he told another one
Of all the silly stories! and it took an hour to tell
So I went up to Percy and I said, 'You can't be well!'

Chorus: 'Do you know any more funny stories?
Do you know any more funny tales?'
The others must have been amused, for when I turned my head
I found some of them gone to sleep - the rest had gone to bed
So I went up to Percy with the coke-hammer and said,
'Do you know any more funny tales?'


When I bought this song the author said this verse would go
So it does at some halls, but of course, you never know
Once, I well remember, in a public house I sat
It was long ago, - It's what? - oh, it's more than that
I was drinking brandy, as I'd often done before
All at once a funeral went slowly past the door
I said to the barmaid, 'Can you tell me who is dead?'
'Yes, it's that old fellow from the greengrocer's,' she said
'I remember him when he was happy, well and strong
He drank himself to death with brandy.' I said, 'Go along.'

Chorus: 'Do you know any more funny stories?
Do you know any more funny tales?'
Said she, 'He'd come in here and drink his brandy every night
And he was very much like you, but perhaps not quite so white.'
I said, 'I think I'll go - I've got some letters I must write,
'Do you know any more funny tales?'


This verse is the last one and the best, you may depend
Comic singers always keep the best verse for the end
I've just been to have a shave - my barber loves to chat
He said, 'Lovely day.' I said, 'You always tell me that.'
Then he told me all about a funny way he had
Said he, 'Once or twice a year I go stark raving mad
Perhaps I'm shaving any one, just like I'm shaving you
And I'm not responsible for anything I do
When I've been mad, I've killed a man and no one's ever heard
I tell you, I'm a funny chap.' I said, 'You are, my word,

Chorus: 'Do you know any more funny stories?
Do you know any more funny tales?'
Said he, 'Of course I'm only mad just once or twice a year
And then I cut a fellow's throat, or perhaps chop off his ear
I feel the thirst for blood is coming on me.' I said, 'Here,
Do you know any more funny tales?'
 
div
 
Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
 
More Wilkie Bard
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ