DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, NICHOLAS
 
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Nicholas met an Irish girl whose christian name was Molly
Two eyes of blue made his senses whirl, for Molly was simply jolly
They met at a dance and commenced sitting out
And later some friends of hers heard Molly shout,

Chorus: 'Don't be ridiculous Nicholas,
Nicholas let me be,
What with your squeezin' and teasin',
You'll be the death of me.
You say that I am a queen,
Then yourself must be the knave,
Nicholas, Nicholas, don't be ridiculous,
Nicholas do behave!'


Nicholas met her after that, proposed, and she refused him
Her answer nearly knocked him flat
Thought Molly had badly used him
Said he, 'If you won't wed me, give me a kiss.'
But all that he got out of Molly was this,

Chorus:

Nicholas sighed, 'Though you've said No,
There's such a charm about you
Off to the river I'll surely go, I never can live without you.'
Said she, ' I suppose then I must save your life'
And cried, as she promised that she'd be his wife,

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by Clarence Wainwright Murphy & George Arthurs - 1908
Performed by Josephine La Barte
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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