DON'T GO OUT WITH HIM TONIGHT
 
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Tompkins called to see his pal at number 24;
Tompkins hadn't seen that pal for sev'ral months or more.
'Come on out tonight,' he cried. 'We'll set the town on fire.
We're bound to meet the darling girls we once used to admire.
Come on, Bill, and have some fun,' Tompkins loudly cried.
Then William's little wife came to the door and softly sighed:

Chorus: 'Don't go out with him tonight
For he never knows when to come home.
Don't go out with him tonight
For you never know where he may roam.
He's single and he might go and mingle
With the first little girl he'll see,
And as we both got married today
Your place is home with me.'

Tompkins looked in wonderment at William's little wife.
Tompkins cried: 'I've never been surprised in all my life.
Fancy you a married man! It fairly takes the bun.'
William's wife said: 'S'pose you think he's married me for fun.'
Bill said: 'I shan't be long my dear. I'll soon be back again.'
And as he closed the front street door Bill heard this sweet refrain:

Chorus:

They called into Pescati's and of drinks they had a few.
Tompkins said to William: 'Now I'll tell you what we'll do.
Let's go to a music hall.' Inside they got a fright,
A man came on the stage and sang 'I must go home tonight.'
Bill rushed out of that music hall with no hat on his head.
The song he heard recalled the words his little wifey said:

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Fred Godfrey & Billy Williams - 1911
Performed by Billy Williams (1877-1915)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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