DON'T SAY I TOLD YOU
 
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Come listen, I'll tell you a secret or two.
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
Whatever I tell you be sure it is true,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
The Dude that you often see going about,
He mashes the hearts of the ladies, no doubt,
But people declare that he's nearly played out,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.

Some people declare that this life is a fraud,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
It furnishes nothing the wise can applaud,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
I never take stock in what such people say,
To look on the bright side of things is my way,
I'm fond of a lark and I'm lively and gay,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.

A grumbling person I cannot endure,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
There is plenty of fun in the world, I am sure,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
Enjoy all the pleasure that comes in your way,
And don't care a copper for what people say,
For life isn't much when all's work and no play,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.

Just look at Ben Butler, how easy he goes,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
He jokes with his friends and he laughs at his foes,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
He goes along smiling, takes all he can get,
There's no-one been able to put him down, yet,
He'll be the next President too, you can bet!
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.

About the young ladies, I'll make a remark,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
Whatever you hear me declare, keep it dark,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
The jersey's a garment, the men all declare,
That gives a young ladie an elegant air,
It shows off the form to perfection, I swear,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.

The old 'Mother Hubbard's' a garment of taste,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
Although just a little too short in the waist,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
But a young ladie's always perfection complete,
And dress how she may she will always be neat,
In gentlmen's eyes she will always be sweet,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.

I see a young man in the front of the house,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
He is sitting as still and demure as a mouse,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
I know he is waiting until I go out,
And after he meets me, without any doubt,
He'll say for the oysters and ice-cream he'll shout,
But for goodness sake, don't say I told you.
 
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Written and composed by George Russell Jackson & Arthur Lloyd - 1883
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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