The Wife and me and all the family
Thought we'd have a spree one night
We went out, looking round about
And we were alright
I said, "Bet, let's hire a wagonette
And give the kids a country drive"
She said, "Done, what a piece of fun
Bless my heart alive"
Off I went and got a natty lot
And inside the family all got
When we'd driven about ten miles
You should have seen our bloomin' dials,

Chorus: Down fell the pony in a fit
Then the wagonette broke down
"The pony's dead!" my old woman said
We'll have to tramp it back to town"
"No, no, no, no," everybody cried
"It's too far to roam"
So we harnessed up my old gal in between the shafts
And made her pull the whole lot home,

We made her trot just like a Hottentot
With the blinkers round her eyes
The bit, oh Lor, we stuck it in her jaw
It was just her size
Off down the street upon her hands and feet
She pulled the wagonette all day
Take my tip, when I gave her the whip
The kids they yell, ‘ Hooray'
At the ‘orses trough I let her stop
Took the bridle off and let her mop
When we got home there was some wars
We had a fight and all because,

Words and music by Harry Wincott and Harry Leighton - 1897
Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
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