DOWN WENT THE CAPTAIN
 
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Now once there was a maiden fair who went on board a ship
Her medical adviser said she ought to take a trip
For such a fatal beauty she'd unfortunately got
All those who chanced to look at Kate were mashed upon the spot
She was followed by a multitude _ and lovers by the score
Who threw a million kisses as the vessel left the shore
'I'm safe,' she said, but looking round, her mind was ill at ease
There was the captain and his merry crew, all down upon their knees.

Chorus: Down went the Captain, down went the crew
The first Mate, the second Mate, the little middies too
Down went the Bosun, and swore his love was true
But she couldn't have them all and so, what was the gal to do?


Poor Katie laughed, and then she cried, 'If I had known before
You sailors were such warm 'uns I would not have left the shore
Get up you fools from off your knees, and please to understand
It's not to any sailor that I mean to give my hand.'
Then the Skipper turned his quid and said,'That tale's all very fine
I'll sail the blooing ship about, till you promise to be mine.'
Then Katie turned her nose up _ and snapped her fingers so
Then down she went and hid herself in the bunkers right below.

Chorus: Down went the Captain, down went the crew
The first Mate, the second Mate, the little middies too
Down went the Bosun, and swore his love was true
But she couldn't have them all and so, what was the gal to do?


They found out Kate's hiding place, the poor deluded souls
She listened to their loving tales whilst perched upon the coals
They knelt upon the nubbly ones, and flopped about the floor
Till a card with 'Standing Room Only' was posted on the door
The ship was left to steer herself, so fearful of a wreck
Poor Katie made a sudden dash and rushed upon the deck
They chased her round and round until the gal was fit to drop
When like a cat she made a run into the mizen top

Chorus: Down went the Captain, down went the crew
The first Mate, the second Mate, the little middies too
Down went the Bosun, and swore his love was true
But she couldn't have them all and so, what was the gal to do?


Right clean into the mizen top, they followed her in crowds
They stood upon the rattlings, and hung about the shrouds
Says the Skipper, 'Will you have me? see it's coming on to rain.'
She ejaculated, 'No you cad' then down she came again
Her life was one long walking-match, no matter where she went
The crew were soon upon her track like hounds upon the scent
She'd learnt to swim a little, her heart for freedom thumped
So she gaily mounted on the stern and overboard she jumped.

Chorus: Down went the Captain, down went the crew
The first Mate, the second Mate, the little middies too
Down went the Bosun, and swore his love was true
But she couldn't have them all and so, what was the gal to do?


The latest heard of Katie was she was leading by a mile
The Skipper and his spoony crew were swimming single file
They were so very amorous their passion was so hot
For miles their bodies made the sea boil over like a pot
There's a little moral to my song which I pray you don't ignore
Pretty girls don't go to sea you're safer here ashore
For if Kate goes down to Davy Jones, then history will tell
How the Captain and his spoony crew went after her as well.

Chorus: Down went the Captain, down went the crew
The first Mate, the second Mate, the little middies too
Down went the Bosun, and swore his love was true
But she couldn't have them all and so, what was the gal to do?
 
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Written and composed by Fred Bowyer & Kate Royle - 1887
Performed by G.H. MacDermott (1845-1901)
 
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