FARMYARD ON THE BRAIN
 
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Mary Ann, that's my old gal's, been working on a farm
Blisters on her boko and a milk pail on her arm
She's learnt to bath the cocks and hens and milk the saucy cow
I wish she'd never started for she's farm yard barmy now.

My old gal's been farming and now she's home again
She's got freckles on her face and farm yard on the brain
She takes me for a cockerel, gives me oyster shells to chew
And when I want eggs for me breakfast now, she makes me cock-a-doodle-do.

She makes me drag the mangle round and fancies it's a plough
She either turns me out to grass or puts me in the stable now
She wants to rub the curry-comb all up and down my legs
Or lock me in the Summerhouse to sit upon some eggs.

My old gal's been farming and now she's home again
She's got birds nests in her hair and farm yard on the brain
She takes me for a cow and gives me stinging nettles too
And if I want milk in my cocoa now, I have to say moo moo.

She put the coal box in the yard and calls it her beehive
I have to catch the bluebottles to keep the game alive
Sometimes she fancies I'm a pig and the dust hole is my sty
And six to one she'll want to make me bacon by and by.

My old gal's been farming and now she's home again
She's got earwigs in her ear and farm yard on the brain
She fancies she's a bumble bee and goes a bit too far
If I want a bit of mutton for my supper now, I have to say baa baa.

My old gal's been farming and now she's home again
She's got corn cobs on her feet and door knobs on the brain
When we have duck for dinner she sticks feathers in my back
And before I get the parson's nose, I have to say quack quack.
 
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Performed by Ernie Mayne (1871-1937)
 
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