FATHER’S WHISKERS
 
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My Father grows his whiskers in a long and ancient style
He never needs a vest, the birds fly there and want to nest
Each time he kisses Mother dear, she cries, 'Have mercy Claude'
Her face is full of cuts and ruts, in fact it's like a cribbage board through

Chorus: Father's whiskers, Father's wiry whiskers
Children shout on the way to school
'Baa-baa, black sheep have you any wool?'
At father's whiskers, they'd make a monkey grin
You ought to see the jungle town
On poor old Father's chin.


A tramp came up and grabbed his beard and then cut off a strip
He shouted out, 'Hooray.' Then filled his pipe and puffed away
One Christmas time we quite forgot to get the Christmas tree
The children cried, poor Mother sighed
'There's only one thing left' said she that's

Chorus: Father's whiskers, Father's wiry whiskers
Children shout on the way to school
'Baa-baa, black sheep have you any wool?'
On Christmas evening, it made the children grin
To stop the noise we hung the toys
On poor old Father's chin.


Some time ago we went and spent a fortnight by the sea
He thought he'd bathe one day, So dived into the briny spray
The Margate boat came dashing in, the crowd began to squeal
The boat became a total wreck
Because she caught her paddle wheel in

Chorus: Father's whiskers, Father's wiry whiskers
Children shout on the way to school
'Baa-baa, black sheep have you any wool?'
When he goes bathing, to cheer we all begin
For crabs and shrimps come home to tea
On poor old Father's chin.

Last Monday at the races, so excited he became
He jumped upon the course and madly cheered his horse
'Come off you fool you'll lose your life' the people loudly howled
He only stood and waved his arms,
The horses stopped and fiercely neighed at

Chorus: Father's whiskers, Father's wiry whiskers
Children shout on the way to school
'Baa-baa, black sheep have you any wool?'
The horses stumbled, the favourite couldn't win
The jockey went and lost his way
In poor old Father's chin.
 
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Written an performed by Frank Wood (1844-1919)
 
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