FIFTEEN OF 'EM ON THE PARLOUR FLOOR
 
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At our house last night we had a party
All our family they were well and hearty
Talk about a treat, ate up all the meat
Bought up all the tiddley from the public down the street
Half-past twelve came, oh, there was a fuss
When someone said they couldn't get a bus
Oh! what a sight - they were in a fright
So me and the missis put 'em up for the night.

Chorus: Fifteen of 'em on the parlour floor
Down in the kitchen there were fifteen more
Upon the stairs they laid in pairs
On the sofa and the tables too
Uncle Jerry was fair knocked up
So we bunged him in the kennel with the bull-dog pup
Left in the lurch, I roosted on the perch
With the cock-a-doodle do-do-do-do-do-do.


Poor Aunt Jane, she alwaya was a snorer
Last night she turned out a perfect roarer
The house began to shake, kept us all awake
Gandfather wriggled on the carpert like a snake
Poor old grandma dreamt she was a fairy
Started dancing - very much contrary
Did it on her head, fell on Uncle Ted
May the Lord forgive him for the prayer he said.

Chorus:

Our old hen I tried my best to wheedle
But our rooster faitly copped the needle
First he gave a squeak, then he dug his beak
In a tender place of which I hardly like to speak
Then his missis started for to scratch me
Sat on my head, the tried for to hatch me
That, you will agree, was a holiday for me
All through obliging of the familee.

Chorus:

Uncle Jerry - oh, he is a noodle
He had a bad night and dreamt he was a poodle
First he gave a howl, then a funny growl
Jumped into the chicken run and took me for a fowl
Next morn I'd hardly any clothes on
Uncle Jerry hadn't got a nose on
I've not recovered yet, and you can have a bet
When I think of the family I'll ne'er forget.

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by Fred Leigh & John S. Baker - 1897
Performed by W.P. Dempsey
 
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