THE FRENCH LADY'S MAID
 
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I leetle Frenchy lady's maid, just the girl for folly
Never vos I of men afraid, I vos so tres jolie
I vos maid to Lady Brown, lofliest girl in London Town
People say she vos a saint, if so, zat's a bad complaint
Flirt, Mon Dieu! make no mistake, at ze mash she take ze cake
You vant to spoon her, you come to me
Me kiss and tip - you vos right - Oui! Oui
She flirt? - do wrong? - Non! non! Eh certainement.

Chorus: I am a Frenchy Lady's lady, Parlez Vous Francais? Oui?
If you would spoon ze nice young lady, zat vos the game for me
Kiss me, so zen you know of me be not afraid
If you vant to get on with the lady, you must tip the lady's maid.


Gentlemens come to our chateau, like ze Frenchy missy
All ze day long I flirt, you know, squeeze, and kissy, kissy
Kisses get me diamond rings, bracelets, and oof, and other things
'Lady Brown about? zey say, 'Oui Monsieur, you come this vay.'
In ze cool conservatoire, I vos on guard, ha, ha
'Make quick, my lady! Scoot, Moosoo
My lady's husband vos after you, allez-vous-en
He kick - for certainement

Chorus:

Oh, ze great captain in ze guards come to spoon ze missus
We have both felt his squeezes hard, and ve share his kisses
Great Sir Brown, he jealous mad, swear a divorce he soon vos had
He say, 'Vitness for me be?' I say, 'Sare! know nodings me.'
I through a keyhole oft vos spy, but vot I see, I tell, not I
My lady and myself, you note vos vot you call, 'In ze same boat.'
Ve spoon? do wrong? Non! non! Eh certainement.

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by E. W. Rogers - 1897
Performed by Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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