FRIED FRUIT FRITTERS
 
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Being economical is absolutely comical;
No matter what you 'ave to eat it costs a lot of cash.
Bread, although it's curious, 'as now become injurious
And soon we shall be dining on a hot bran mash.
But though I don't mind dishes vegetarian
I am a most fastidious fruitarian.

Chorus: I'm fond of fried fruit fritters,
Fruit fritters freshly fried.
Like them hot, like them cold,
Even like them nine days old.
Though Frenchmen feed on fried frogs' feet
And feel quite fortified,
Fried fritters form my fav'rite food,
Fruit fritters freshly fried.

After years of tarryin', at last I've thought of marryin'.
But mind I've only thought of it, perhaps it's just as well.
Still the girl is just divine, she mingles her eyebrows with mine,
And when I do propose I'll say to Isobel:
'I think I ought to make this one confession dear;
I 'ave one awful weakness, one obsession dear.

Chorus: I'm fond of fried fruit fritters,
Fruit fritters freshly fried.
Like them hot, like them cold,
Even like them nine days old.
Though Frenchmen feed on fried frogs' feet
And feel quite fortified,
Fried fritters form my fav'rite food,
Fruit fritters freshly fried.

 
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Performed by Ernie Mayne (1871-1937)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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