If a maiden means to marry
On a houseboat she should tarry
And a man she’s sure to catch
For the picnics and the dances
Will afford her endless chances
To bring him to the scratch
For when the moon is mellow
Up on deck she takes the fellow
Whom she thinks she wants to wed
And she flirts with him reclining
In a blouse that lacks a lining
And he’s bound to lose his head

Chorus: And the gay river goes a-laughing on its way
As it hears a yummy kind of kiss
Though the maid when he commenced it
Tried to set her face against it
For the river girl’s a modest little miss
And they stop on deck with his arms around her neck
And their conduct nobody condemns
But Mamma tells every comer
“Our Maud’s going off this summer”
Oh, they’re knowing on the flowing River Thames

In a corner cool and shady
You may come across a lady
Who pretends to fish - for fish
But when someone dressed in flannel
Comes canoeing down the channel
She gives her rod a swish
And the person in the boat is
Simply bound to take some notice
So he looks up from below
And he sees two tootsies dangle
At an interesting angle
And the boatman thinks “What Ho”

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