GIRLS OF TODAY
 
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Ladies of today they are a very selfish lot
They're never really satisfied with anything they've got
They're all right when they're single but as soon as they get wed
They want all the butter and we only get the bread

Chorus: Girls want everything! Ev'rything they can get hold of.
When you get married you know it's true.
They want all of you.
You must agree with me that when you take a bride
You can give them as much as you like but still
They're never satisfied.

When you're on your honeymoon it's Ducky, Darling, Dear
But oh a change comes o'er the scene when you've been wed a year.
She wants you to get out of bed in all your night attire
And heat the baby's milk and then go down and light the fire.

Chorus: Girls want everything! Ev'rything they can get hold of.
When you get married you know it's true.
They want all of you.
You must agree with me that when you take a bride
You can give them as much as you like but still
They're never satisfied.

The ladies are not satisfied with their own kind of dress
They're getting more like men each day I really must confess
For ev'rywhere they go they're dressed in collar, cuffs and shirts.
They'll want to wear the trousers soon and put us into skirts.

Chorus: Girls want everything! Ev'rything they can get hold of.
When they get married you know it's true.
They want all of you.
You must agree with me that ladies are getting wide
You can give them as much as you like but still
They're never satisfied.

 
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Performed by Billy Williams (1877-1915)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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