THE GREAT MEAT-PIE
 
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You've heard of the wondrous crocodile
And the thundering great sea snake
No doubt it's often made you smile
And caused your sides to ache
Now, I've got one that'll make you laugh
For a month to come or nigh
So listen while I tell you about
A stunning great meat pie
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Tol lol lol lol lol lay.

As through the country I did drive
On business rather pressing
I stopped at the sign of 'The toad in the hole'
To give my stomach a dressing
I had hardly put my nose in when
Without the word of a lie
There was just seven hundred and fifty men
About to eat a pie
Tol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
Tol lol lol lol lol lay.

It was a regular out and outer
Describe it I'm scarcely able
It took about ninety ploughmen stout
To serve it up to the table
It was a tidy weight, that's clear
And the fact there's no disowning
For forty miles off you could hear
The tables creaking and groaning
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Tol lol lol lol lol lay.

This pie it was a tidy size
It took a month to make it
A day to carry it to the shop
And another week to bake it
The fire to cook it was so large
The heat was hard to govern
They were obliged to knock the front wall down
To get it into the oven
Tol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
Tol lol lol lol lol lay.

This pie contained as much rump steak
As would half supply the Navy
With bullocks melts enough to make
One hundred gallons of gravy
Forty ducks, two stone a piece
Enough for any glutton
Ninety fillets of veal, forty geese
And a hundred legs of mutton
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Tol lol lol lol lol lay.

There were twenty-five spare-ribs of beef
And, if I'm not mistaken
Sixty-five legs of pork and
Ninety sides of bacon
The crust it was made seven feet thick
You could scarcely bruise it
The rolling pin was such a size
It took twelve men to use it
Tol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
Tol lol lol lol lol lay.

There were one hundred sacks of flour
It is true what I utter
One hundred and twenty pails of milk
And ninety firkins of butter
The pie was made by fifty cooks
All of them first raters
And they finished it up, by all accounts
With a ton of kidney taters
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Tol lol lol lol lol lay.

At the signal the general rush began
Each thought to hack and hew it
They clambered quickly up the crust
To get their knives in to it
When all at once the crust gave way
Each thought it was much thicker
And ninety-five poor souls, they say
Were drowned in the liquor
Tol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
Tol lol lol lol lol lay.

This took away their appetites
And they took it as a warning
For after that pie-ratical night
They went into general morning
For now all the village folks
Though' all of them live like good 'uns
The pie it sticks so in their throats
They eat nothing but puddens
Tol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
Tol lol lol lol lol lay.
 
 
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