GUY FAWKES
 
Sam Cowell
 
I sing a doleful tragedy Guy Fawkes, high priest of sinisters,
Who once blew up the House of Lords and all his ministers;
That is, he would have blown them up, so why should we forget him,
His will was good to do the deed, but they did not choose to let him.

Guy Fawkes, Guy.
So his blowing up the Parliament proved all my eye.

He took a peep from Lambeth side, then swore the state was undone,
And crossing over Vauxhall Bridge, that way com'd into London;
That is, he would have come that way to perpetrate his guilt, sirs,
But a little thing prevented him, the bridge was not then built, sirs.

Guy Fawkes, Guy.
Didn't cross o'er Vauxhall Bridge, I've told you why.

Then searching through the dreary vaults, with portable gas-light, sir,
About to touch the powder train, at witching hour of night, sirs;
That is, I mean, he would have used the gas, but was prevented,
'Cause gas, you see, in James's time, had never been invented.

Guy Fawkes, Guy.
Thro' the agency of gas he couldn't send 'em up high.

And when they caught him in the fact, they straightway called a Jarvey,
Who quickly went to the police, for Daniel William Harvey;
That is, he would have gone for him, for fear he is no starter at,
But Harvey wasn't living then, he wasn't born till arter that.

Guy Fawkes, Guy.
So he didn't go for Harvey, and I've told you why.

So then they put poor Guy to death, for ages to remember,
And boys will now kill him once a year, in dreary, dark November;
That is, I mean, his effigy, for truth is strong and steady,
Poor Guy, they cannot kill him again, because he's dead already.

Guy Fawkes, Guy.
To kill a guy a second time is all my eye.

Then bless her gracious Majesty, and bless her royal son, sirs,
And may he never get blown up by powder, shell or bomb, sirs;
The Prince of Wales is sur to reign, so prophesics my song, sirs,
And if he don't, why then he won't, and so I can't be wrong, sirs.

Let the bells ring,
Confound the Pope and Cardinals and God save the Queen.
 
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Written, composed and performed by Sam Cowell (1820-1864)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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