Alas, I used to think so too, when I courted Lucinda Long
When a mere girl she then could do over six good miles an hour
And in the way of feats of strength she'd most remarkable power.
Spoken - Sometimes I wish Miss Long had remained Miss Long much longer.
Chorus: My wife's so strong and all day long
She frightens me out of my life
What ever you do, oh, what ever you do
Don't have a gymnastic wife.
I married sweet Lucinda Long and blessed the lucky catch
But soon found out she was so strong I was not near her match
For at our wedding breakfast, oh, she gave the guests a treat
By seizing me by the hair of my head and lifting me off my feet.
Chorus:
Instead of walking down the stairs she'll clear the flight in a bound
Catch hold of me by the tail of my coat and swing me round and round
She throws half-hundred weights about, and twirls an Indian club
Or balances two chairs and the cat on top of the washing tub.
| Spoken - And frequently winds up her performance by throwing an astounding somersault from water-butt to the dust-bin. |
Chorus:
She does the dumb-bells twice a day (a terrible weight they are)
In the garden she fixes a high trapeze and a horizontal bar
And there she sports her lovely form to the neighbours who come and stare
To see my wife, the pride of my life, going round and round in the air.
| Spoken - Or practising the somewhat difficult feat of hanging by her eyebrows. If I dare to remonstrate with her, she threatens to throw me into the next street. She says she's certain she could do it 'once in every three' times. Horror! I believe she could too, for... |
Chorus:
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