HAVE A DROP OF GIN, JOE
 
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Have you ever had a picture painted on your mind?
Here's a little picture frame, the best you'd ever find:
Happy little family, everybody glad,
Nearly ev'ry evening Mother says to Dad:

Chorus: Have a drop of gin, Joe, gin, Joe, gin, Joe.
Have a drop of gin, Joe, do.
A little drop of gin, Joey, never hurt me,
And I'm sure a drop of gin, Joe, can't hurt you.
Have a drop of old gin, old gin, old gin.
People say it's better than the new.
So give your mind a gin, Joe, gin Joe, gin, Joe.
Have a drop of gin, Joe, do.


Have you ever seen a parlour very nearly bare?
Just a paper here, a poker over there,
Mangle in the corner, baby with a toy,
Little girl goes up and whispers to the boy:

Chorus: Have a bit of jam, Jim, jam, Jim, jam, Jim.
Have a bit of jam, Jim, do.
A little bit of jam, Jimmy, never hurt me,
And I'm sure a bit of jam, Jim, can't hurt you.
And remember Jim-jam, Jim-jam, Jim-jam.
Makes you wish for more, it's true.
So have a bit of jam, Jim, jam, Jim, jam, Jim.
Have a bit of jam, Jim, do.


Have you ever seen a picture in the dead of night?
P'liceman on the left side, burglar on the right,
P'liceman said to burglar, "Hope you've had a hop."
Holding up his jemmy then the burglar said to flop.

Chorus: Have a little sleep-flop, sleep-flop, sleep-flop.
Have a little sleep-flop, do.
A tiny little sleep-flop never hurt me,
And I'm sure a little sleep-flop can't hurt you.
Round the corner sleep-flop, sleep-flop, sleep-flop.
Wonderful the old job through.
Have a little sleep-flop, sleep-flop, sleep-flop.
Have a little sleep-flop, do.


Simple Eddie Peter bought an aeroplane.
Flying around the houses he must have been insane.
Called upon his sweetheart, dragged her out of bed,
Oops his little answer in a bustle and he said:

Chorus x 2: Have a little fly, Flo, fly, Flo, fly, Flo,
Have a little fly, Flo, do.
A tiny little fly, Flo, never hurt me,
And I'm sure a little fly, Flo, can't hurt you.
If you've never do so, do so,
When it's been a luck so, do.
Have a little fly, Flo, fly, Flo, fly, Flo.
Have a little fly, Flo, do, do, do.
 
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Written and composed by Joseph Tabrar and Chas. Collins -1912.
Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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