HAVE YOU NOTICED IT
 
div
 
Some think it's fun to be alive and others think it's not,
Have you noticed it?
It seems to me it much depends on how much coin you've got,
Have you noticed it?
We all of us have troubles, there's not the slightest doubt,
The rich man's are his pleasures and the time to get about,
The trouble of the poor man is to keep the brokers out,
Have you noticed it?

You ask a girl to have a drink, she puts on side and form,
Have you noticed it?
She couldn't think of drinking beer, it's 'a glass of port wine, warm',
Have you noticed it?
But catch her with a friend of hers and hear her shout and laugh,
She simply revels in a joke and loves a bit of chaff,
How quick two of 'em 'get outside' a pot of 'half-and-half,
Have you piped it?

Some policemen get a topper from a fellow whom they've cotched,
Have you noticed it?
And does he land him back? no fear! not if he's been watched;
Have you noticed it?
He bides his time, for funny things take place behind the scenes,
He lugs him to the station, then he asks him what he means,
It's then the bobby's on the job, he simply gives him 'beans',
Have you noticed it?

At certain city restaurants no tips are e'er allowed,
Have you noticed it?
The waiters, one and all pretend they are oh! so very proud,
Have you noticed it?
If you say, 'That penny is for you.' they pretend they never heard,
Of course, you cannot temp them, why the whole idea's absurd,
You leave it there and watch 'em, why, they're on it like a bird;
Have you noticed it?

Men, when meeting in the street, each other's hand will shake,
Have you noticed it?
And then, as if by instint for the nearest 'pub' they make,
Have you noticed it?
But in a crowd of three or four, one artful one you'll find,
How many times the others pay, he doesn't seem to mind,
He don't go near the counter but he keeps, well, right behind,
Have you noticed it?

The girls who run the fellows down are always married first,
Have you noticed it?
To pick the best, men wait for years and then they pick the worst,
Have you noticed it?
And some declare that children all the happiness destroys,
They vow to do without 'em, for they couldn't stand the noise,
They're just the sort of ones who get a dozen boss-eyed boys,
Have you noticed it?
 
div
 
Written and composed by F. Bowyer
Performed by Herbert Campbell (1844-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ