I've been looking for work this last year or two
But the job I go after they say I won't do
Just to manage a pub for a job I went in
But an Irishman said, 'Here, I'm first' with a grin.

He got the job... he did s'welp me bob
For he served up the beer, shouted time and huroo
Then a boozer right through the window he threw
Said the landlord, If he comes down heads, why you'll do'
And he got the job.

Now a firm advertised for a good plumber's mate
There were hundreds and hundreds of men round the gate
A man hobbled in with a leg made of wood
And the boss said, For mending a roof you're no good.'

He got the job... he did s'welp me bob
Said the man with the stump, 'See those holes in the floor
There's a nail in my leg, and on housetops, oh Lor
Where I'm mending me hole, why I make fifty more.'
And he got the job.

Now a school advertised for a man to clean boots
Who would teach them astronomy and Latin roots
And a fellow I know, who was noted for cheek
Said he'd do all the lot for a sovereign a week.

He got the job... he did s'welp me bob
Can I number the stars in the sky? 'Yes' said he
Fifty million, five thousand, and three hundred and three
And if you don't believe me, you can count them and see.'
And he got the job.
Written & composed by R. P. Weston & F. J. Barnes
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