HE KNOWS A GOOD THING WHEN HE SEES IT
 
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My dear Uncle Sam is a jolly old cock
Who knows a good thing when he sees it
He's right up to snuff, he can tell you what's o' clock
And he knows a good thing when he sees it
He once saw an up-to-date play in the West
And sweet Chorus: ladies scantily dressed
Round to the stage door later on did he roam
And found 'something choice' coming out, going home

Chorus: Then he stood it a supper at Scotts
And bought it a bottle to please it
For it's dear little waist
Seemed to tickle his taste
And he knows a good thing when he sees it


A splendid new Bobby we've got on our beat
Who knows a good thing when he sees it
He's got a fine head and remarkable feet
And he knows a good thing when he sees it
One morning a timid old lady he spied
Who wanted to cross to the other side
To lend her a hand he soon got on the job
For he thought for sure he was on a cert bob

Chorus: So he helped the old lady across
And thought that his hand she would grease it
Was as kind as could be
And she gave him a D
Now he knows a good thing when he sees it


My brother's a plunger - has quids on a horse
And he knows a good thing when he sees it
He frequently wins a big pile on the course
And he knows a good thing when he sees it
One fine day a 'monkey' he put on Blue Boar
The horse simply romped home - he'd hundreds to draw
He rushed back to draw it with smiles on his face
But found his bookmaker had vanished in space

Chorus: And he'd planked down his all on the cert.
His blood it seemed fairly to freeze it
Now he's anxious indeed
For the bookmaker bleed
And he'll bung up his eye when he sees it


I'm somewhat afraid of each giddy young man
Who knows a good thing when he sees it
For I'm a girl built on a stand-offish plan
Who knows a rude thing when she sees it
One day to the North I was travelling third
When some cheeky fellow hopped___‚ in, like a bird
We'd nobody else in our carriage, alas
And that fellows ticket I saw was first class

Chorus: I thought, 'This is a bit of a plant'
My poor mind I couldn't quite ease it
I said, 'You're first I see'
He said, 'That'll suit me'
Oh he knows a good thing when he sees it
 
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Written and composed by J.P. Harrington & George Le Brunn - 1895
Performed by Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)
 
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