HELLO! OLD WHAT'S-A-NAME
 
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If we can't remember any name we always say
Hello! Old what's-a-name! Hello! Old what's-a-name!
Ev'rywhere we go your'll always hear it ev'ry day:
Hello! Old what's-a-name! What-ho! Old what's-a-name'
If your name is George or Jack, or Kate or Tom or Joe,
This is how they greet you now wherever you may go:

Chorus: Hello! Hello! What's-a-name!
'Ow are yer, what's-a-name?
'Ow yer goin' what's-a-name?
I 'aven't seen yer for a long time past;
I 'aven't seen yer since I saw yer last.
Hello! Hello! Old what's-a-name!
I know yer but your name I couldn't tell.
'Ow are yer, what's-a-name?
'Ow is Missus What's-a-name?
An' all the little what's-a-names as well?

Mister Johnson ran away from 'ome some years ago
And left 'is what's-a-name, 'Is poor old what's-a-name.
Years had passed away an' 'e came back 'is wifey said:
'I know, You're Mister What's-a-name.
What-ho old What's-a-name.'
All 'is twenty-seven kids they made a great big ring,
They got 'im in the middle, then they all began to sing:

Chorus: Hello! Hello! Old what's-a-name!
'Ow are yer, what's-a-name?
'Ow yer goin' what's-a-name?
I 'aven't seen yer for a long time past;
I 'aven't seen yer since I saw yer last.
Hello! Hello! Old what's-a-name!
I know yer but your name I couldn't tell.
'Ow are yer, what's-a-name?
'Ow is Missus What's-a-name?
An' all the little what's-a-names as well?

Thompson to the sea-side every Summer takes his wife
Or missus what's-er-name, Or missus what's-er-name
In the sea he always goes and leads a simple life
With missus what's-er-name, with missus what's-er-name
All the little winkles know him as he splashes in the main,
They wave their little hats and shout out, 'Here we are again'

Chorus:

 
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Performed by Ernie Mayne (1871-1937)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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