HERR SCHWOLLENHEDT
 
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I started life as plain Mr Brown
To win fame with that name, was suggestive of insanity
I sought employment up in town
But they laughed and they chaffed which upset my youthful vanity
As Mr Brown I did not dare
To talk of art, lest, folks should stare
I'm Mr Brown no more but Herr Schwollenhedt
The conductor at the Temple of Inanity
One, two, three, four
Pas de quatre of Lutz's
Premiere danseuse trips out on her tootsie wootsies
Allegretto molto rallentan- do
Then they shout Bravo, Bravo Bravissimo

Chorus: One, two, three, four
Pas de quatre of Lutz's
Premiere danseuse trips out on her tootsie wootsies
Allegretto molto rallentan- do
Then they shout Bravo, Bravo Bravissimo


When I appear the folks go mad
They declare every air
Full of quaint originality
My mood is grave or gay or sad
It depends, all my friends
Praise my strict impartiality
Some vulgar people take offence
And sneer because I'm called intense
They say my back view is immense
And conducive to critics' mirth
And Pittites' joviality

Chorus:

Should anything perchance go wrong
I look down with a frown
At the double bass or clarinet
It did not take me long
To acquire foreign fire
Or to emulate a marionette
I've struck a rather awkward word
The rhyme may sound a bit absurd
Forgive it, please, for I have heard
That I may live to cut my hair
And be a noble Barionet
 
PDF Sheet Music
 
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Performed by Albert Chevalier (1861-1923)
 
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