(Oh, it's a game, it's a game)
I thought it was great when I went on the stage,
About six and a half months ago
'Cos everybody was so nice to me,
When they found out that I was Pro
A fire broke out at my lodgings one night,
And the firemen were there instantly
They saved everybody right down to the cat,
But they made no attempt to save me
I dashed to the window, and heard with dismay
The big Fire Brigade Captain to somebody say

Chorus: "He's a Pro. He's a Pro,
And he'll make us all laugh in a minute or so"
I could feel myself cooking, my shirt was alight
So I stood on the windowsill, trembling with fright
The firemen were laughing at me,
And I heard someone say down below
"Let him do us a turn, 'cos I don't think he'll burn.

He's a Pro. He's a Pro" (Oh, it's a game, it's a game)
I had a new song I was trying to learn
So I picked out a quiet place to go
I hired a small boat and went out on the sea,
And I started to study you know
I was learning the words and the melody fine,
When the bloke who was rowing me said
"Do you like a big hit?" I said "Yes". So he hit me
And knocked the words out of my head
I fell in the water, a shark came my way
But it wouldn't touch me, 'cos it heard a cod say

Chorus: "It's a Pro. It's a Pro,"
I'd been swimming around for an hour or so
When a ship came in sight and the Captain cried "Jim
There's a man overboard, throw the life line to him"
Jim came and looked over the side,
And when he saw me there down below
To the captain he ran, and said "That's not a man,
It's a Pro. It's a Pro"

(Oh, it's a game, it's a game)
One night I appeared at a swell Music Hall
Where I thought I should make a big hit
The band played my music. I ran on the stage,
But a battle was on in the pit
Well, I started to sing "All I ask is love"
I remember no more after that
All I asked for was love, but the lads up above
Gave me something more solid than that
I woke in the hospital the following day
And I just recollect hearing somebody say

Chorus: "He's a Pro. He's a Pro,
And the poor devil looks like one too", said Nurse Flo
Then the doctor said "Nurse, there's but one thing to do
We must operate on him to pull him right through"
He said, "Nurse, do you think that he'd hurt
If we starved him for twelve hours or so?"
The nurse said, "Have no fears.
He's been starving for years
He's a Pro. He's a Pro."
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