HE'S GOT NO WORK TO DO
 
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Mary McCork - she used to work
At a firework factoree;
One day, by mistake, for a banbury cake
She swallowed a rocket, you see -

Chorus: She's got no work to do-oo-oo-oo
Shes got no work to do,
She gave a cough and the rocket went off
And she's got no work to do.

Jimmy Mclves, he married three wives,
I feel very sorry for him :
For all the three are alive, you see,
Last night they all called on Jim -

Chorus: He's got no work to do-oo-oo-oo
He's got no work to do,-
They've found the bits, and the coffin just fits,
And he's got no work to do.

Billy McQuat,he worked down at
An engineers shop in Deal,
He was oiling a shaft, when he felt a draught -
He'd caught in the big fly Wheel -

Chorus: He's got no work to do-oo-oo-oo
He's got no work to do;
He's been off for weeks,'cos his oil-can leaks,
And he's got no work to do.

Billy McCan was a signal man,
He stood on the railway
An Express tried to pass, and the blithering ass,
He tried to push it back,

Chorus: He's got no work to do-oo-oo-oo
He's got no work to do;
He felt some shocks in his signal box,
And he's got no work to do.

Mister McPhit, he used to sit
For an artist at Maida Vale;
As Queen of the May he sat each day
Till he sat on a nine inch nail;

Chorus: He's got no work to do-oo-oo-oo
He's got no work to do
He can't sit now for the pain in his brow,
So he's got no work to do.

Mister McNull, he met a bull,
And they told him it was blind;
So just for a lark, this gay young spark,
He tickled that bull behind

Chorus: He's got no work to do-oo-oo-oo
He's got no work to do
He felt a punch where he keeps his lunch
And he's got no work to do.

Gertie McPhil rode down a hill
On a cycle to make a call;
She was reading, you see 'Tit-Bits' so she
At the bottom didn't see a wall;

Chorus: She's got no work to do-oo-oo-oo
She's got no work to do;
A fellow stood by, saw her 'Tit-Bits' fly,
And she's got no work to do.

Billy McNob bet me two bob
He'd sit on a live bomb-shell;
He sat on the top and it went off pop,
And he flew up above with a yell

Chorus: He's got no work to do-oo-oo-oo
He's got no work to do;
I'd pay him that bet, but he's up there yet,
And he's got no work to do.

Maggie McTark was a lady clerk
At a fruiterers shop at Lynn;
Some sour plums devoured, you see,
And they called the doctor in -

Chorus: She's got no work to do-oo-oo-oo
She's got no work to do;
The silly numb-skull filled her ledger too full,
And she's got no work to do.

 
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Written and composed by Worton David and Sam Mayo - 1909
Performed by Sam Mayo (1875 - 1938)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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