(The Song Of The Sham Yokel)

Oi dressed up loike a country chap
With a white smock-frock and a billy-cock hat,
Which things I wear for their hinnocent hair
Oi stole from the shop of a costumiere.

Chorus: With my Hey down derry
Oi does 'em as brown as a berry.
Oi likes the country ways
For the country ways they pays,
If you doose them as brown as a berry.

Oi sells French heggs for my own new-laid
And three pence each is halways paid.
My 'ome-made butter and curds and whey
Comes down by early train each day.


Oi buys spring chicks what's old as me,
Some's lame, some's deaf, and some can't see.
Oi stuffs 'em with paper and powder their chests
But Oi never calls to 'ear 'ow they all digests.


But now Oi've done with them silly fools,
Oi gathered mushrooms which was toadstools.
And poisoned every customer
So Oi got locked up for a change of air.


Written and performed by Robert Ganthony (1849-1931)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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