HIS FUNERAL'S TOMORROW
 
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I will sing of Mick McTurk. Mick one day got tight
And he roamed about the street dying for a fight
Mickey said to me, 'He would put me on the fire'
And because I said he'd not, he called me a liar.

Chorus: And his funeral's tomorrow
My poor heart aches with sorrow
I hit him once, that's all
Then he heard the angels' call
And we're going to plant him tomorrow.


Patsey had a pack of cards, I played 'nap' with Pat
Patsey beat me every game, I did not like that
So I laid him on the floor and would you believe
Aces, Kings, and Queens, and Knaves
I found up his sleeve.

Chorus: And his funeral's tomorrow
My poor heart aches with sorrow
No more he'll sleeve a card
For I hit him rather hard
And we're going to plant him tomorrow.


Little Johnny in the street found a little toy
'Twas a lump of dynamite, Johnny jumped with joy
Johnny played with it awhile, then began to tire
And to see how it would burn he put it on the fire.

Chorus: And his funeral's tomorrow
My poor heart aches with sorrow
Little Johnny had to git
But we've found a little bit
And we're going to plant him tomorrow.


Mary ne'er had baked before but when she got wed
She said to her husband dear, 'I will bake some bread.'
Mary baked a little cake, he to tea did sit
Took that small cake in his hand and ate every bit

Chorus: And his funeral's tomorrow
My poor heart aches with sorrow
Doctor said he had to kick
For he couldn't digest a brick!
And we're going to plant him tomorrow.


Little Billy had a mule and it wouldn't go
Billy whacked it with a stick, cried, 'Gee up gee whoa.'
To drive his kicking mule along, Billy he would tussle
He tried to stick a great big pin in that poor mule's bustle.

Chorus: And his funeral's tomorrow
My poor heart aches with sorrow
The mule with his hind paw
Paralyzed poor Billy's jaw
And we're going to plant him tomorrow.
 
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Performed by Tom Costello (1863-1943)
 
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