HIS LORDSHIP WINKED AT THE COUNCEL
 
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The Judge took his seat in the courthouse one day
A nice breach of promise to hear
The Plaintiff stepped up with a veil round her face
A lovely and blushing young dear
She looked at the Jury a sly loving glance
She smiled at the counsel below
Then turning her soft pretty eyes to the Judge
She tenderly murmured, “Heigh Ho.”

Chorus: His Lordship winked at the Counsel
The Counsel winked at the Clerk
The Jury passed a wink along
And murmured, “Here's a lark”
The Usher winked at the Bobby
The Bobby left his seat
And turning to the window winked
At somebody out in the street.


“Pray tell us the facts of your case,” the Judge said
“Your wrongs we are anxious to hear”
“I'll try, my good Lord,” the sweet maiden said
“My poor heart is broken I fear
The monster who wooed me, declared on his oath
He'd make me his bride by and by
He took me long walks in the moonlight alone
And kissed me when no one was nigh.”

Chorus: His Lordship grinned at the Counsel
The Counsel grinned at the Clerk
The Jury passed a grin along
And murmured, “Here's a lark”
The Usher grinned at the Bobby
The Bobby left his seat
And turning to the window grinned
At somebody out in the street.


The Judge took a pinch of his pungent rappee
And dignity spread o'er his face
“You really must name him, my pretty maid
Or we can't proceed with the case.”
The maiden then snatched the thick veil from her cheeks
And smiled like a mischievous elf
Then turning around to the Judge cried, “My Lord
That false hearted man is yourself”

Chorus: His Lordship blushed at the Counsel
The Counsel blushed at the Clerk
The Jury passed a blush along
And murmured, “Here's a lark”
The Usher blushed at the Bobby
The Bobby left his seat
And turning to the window blushed
At somebody out in the street.


The Judge viewed the charms of the girl he'd once loved
And longed her lips once more to press
“Oh sweet, pretty maid will you marry me now?”
She blushingly answered him, “Yes”
They sent for a parson, they sent for a clerk
And ere one short hour had sped
They threw all the fusty law papers aside
And each held a prayer book instead.

Chorus: His Lordship tickled at the Counsel
The Counsel tickled at the Clerk
The Jury passed a tickle along
And murmured, “Here's a lark”
The Usher tickled the Bobby
The Bobby left his seat
And turning to the window tickled
At somebody out in the street.
 
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Written and composed by George Dance & Peter Conroy
Performed by Harry Rickards (1841-1911)
 
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