HOW-DE-DO-DE?
 
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How-de-do-de? pleasant day this evening,
If we have some rain it will be wet.
I have got such a pretty song to sing you
But the words I really do forget.
I can see some married friends of mine here,
With their wives, they're comfortable, p'r'aps.
Some of them are sitting on their lonesomes.
Some of them are sitting with the wives of other chaps.

Chorus: How-de-do-de, do-de-do-de-do-de
How-de-do-de, do-de-do-de do;
Whack fol-de-di-do, fol-de diddle-di-do,
How de-do-de, do-de-do-de-do.

How-de-do-de when you've got a damsel
On your knee, you feel a lucky chap;
But how-de-do-de! isn't it disgusting
To find a big pin sticking in your lap.
In the summer when you go to bed
You're coiled up in the blanket like a sack,
But how-de-do-de when you're snug and cosy,
In comes the wife and puts her cold feet on your back.

Chorus:

How-de-do-de spooning in the moonlight;
Don't you feel like standing on your head?
When you're single you wish that you were married,
When you're married you wish that you were dead.
How-de-do-de when you get a baby;
Don't you feel like having lots of fun?
But when the nurse says, 'Mister, there are triplets.'
And you've only gone and got the toggery for one.

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Fred Murray & Fred Leigh - 1899
Performed by George Beauchamp (1863-1901)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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