HOW'S THAT FOR A SNAPSHOT?
 
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Snap-shots seem to be the craze - big pots take 'em now-a-days
I've got a few snap-shots, I vow, what they're about I'll tell you now
Josiah Jenkins lately took a bride. Off they went on a tandem for a ride
Ev'rybody admired their pluck. Threw bad eggs and bricks for luck
They didn't care but on they shot. Far away from the whole bally lot
When they got to a country lane. Fifteen men were digging up a drain
There was a big steam-roller too. Round the corner hidden from view
That steam-roller kicked their wheels. Down the drain head over heels
The lady and the chap shot. There they were - legs up in the air
How's that for a snap-shot?

Joe Nash was a tricky lad - his mash had a wicked dad
He shut her up where Joe couldn't call, Inside a house with a big stone wall
But while he was sleeping for a time, Joseph on that wall he used to climb
One night in their yard he dropped. Jumping Moses! he got copped
Her old man he fired a gun. Hit poor Joe on the hot cross bun
He climbed up, but oh, good grog. On t'other side was a big bull-dog
Into the air that bull-dog rose. Chewed the end off Joseph's nose.
Then the broken glass - what ho. Stabbed him twice, so he let go.
And in her father's lap shot. Oh, the ants got into his pants
How's that for a snap-shot?

Miss Gee kept a ladies school - where she taught the golden rule
She was an old maid, never been wed,
Couldn't bear the sight of a man, she said
Late one night she spotted in the gloom,
A big bold man who was hiding in the room
She clutched hold of his whiskers tight
Pulled him out in the pale moonlight
He said, 'Madam, I am not drunk
Give me your money and then I'll bunk.'
She said, 'No, you're in my clutch
I strikes me you know a bit too much
But I'll give you one chance,' said she
'Swear that you will marry me
If you don't, then for your pains
I'll at once blow out your brains
And you'll be off the map shot.'
He saw her 'chiv' said, 'I don't want to live.'
How's that for a snap-shot?
 
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Performed by T.E. Dunville 1868-1924
 
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