Now I am a Curate possessed of a whim,
A habit maybe, of announcing a hymn.
I find it most useful, for instance to-day -
I rose to breakfast in the usual way.
I partook of poached eggs, a most succulent dish,
But one of them had not the health I could wish.
So I said to my landlady - 'Oh Mrs. Dunn
I think we'll sing hymn number four-ninety-one.'

At our Harvest Festival we, in our mirth,
Do garnish our church with the fruits of the earth.
Last ye-ar as u-su-al I did assist,
By holding the steps for Miss Agatha Twist.
But they broke - and she fell - to her utmost surprise
As gentlemen should - I averted my eyes,
And I said - as we picked ourselves up from the floor,
Let's unite in singing hymn seventy-four.

One dear old lady member by name Mrs. Wilde,
Last week came to christen her dear little child.
She called the boy Cyril, I noted with pride,
For that is my name on my dear father's side.
But the moment I said 'Name this child' with a smile,
The nurse dropped the infant whack into the aisle.
And the dear mother screamed and said 'What shall we do?'
I said 'We'll sing hymn number four-eighty-two.'

To our ladies' circle I go frequently,
To balance my cup and a cake on my knee;
Last month they'd a party at which fun was rife,
So I invited to give it some life.
They got me in the centre for 'Kiss in the ring'
A game which for Curates is scarcely the thing.
They said 'Now Mr. Middleton, which shall it be?'
I said 'I will sing you the Doxology.'

All dear little children I fancy like me
So I take a class every Sabbath at three.
One day whilst explaining the meaning of 'grace'
I said I would give them an ev'ry day case.
I requested one dear little boy to repeat
The words his papa used before taking meat.
He said Father says 'Dammit the food's always late',
I said 'I think we’ll sing hymn two-sixty-eight.'
Written and composed by Graham Squiers & Fred Cecil - 1917
Performed by Rex Harold
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ